Update: Lazio’s eagle coach with a robotic penis has barricaded himself in the team’s facilities
Breaking news update
Reports out of Italy suggest that Juan Bernabe refuses to accept his dismissal from Lazio and has barricaded himself and his robotic penis inside. The Eagles coach has reportedly been living in Formello, Lazio’s entourage, for the past 15 years, and has now locked himself inside an outhouse. He refused to leave until the team accepted his apology for posting photos of his robot on the Internet and reinstated him.
“The Spanish falconer has been living in a room at the Formillo Sports Center for 15 years and continues to ask for forgiveness, apparently to no avail. According to reports from some Romanian media, Bernabé has barricaded himself inside the outbuilding of his house, showing signs of agony and anxiety.
If you’re wondering how we got here, here’s the original story from Tuesday.
The eagle handler responsible for flying a live eagle around the Stadio Olimpico before Lazio matches is now out of work after sharing too much information about penile implant surgery on Instagram.
Juan Bernabe has been the Eagles’ coach since 2010, but the club finally said enough was enough after he appeared on Instagram Live to explain in terrifying detail all about his new button-controlled robot.
“I had surgery to increase my sexual performance because I’m very active. I need to ejaculate whenever I have free time. It was a great surgery. I got it so I can perform like I was able to do when I was young. My erection is normal, but With this device I press a button that allows me to have perfect control of both erection and timing.
burnaby, He also admires MussoliniHe made his account private, but that wasn’t enough to keep his job. Lazio issued a statement apologizing to the fans for the eagle not flying – This was translated by Google from their website.
Spa Lazio was shocked when it saw the photographs and videos of Mr. Juan Bernabé, and upon reading the accompanying statements, informed that it had severed, with immediate effect, all relations with him, given the seriousness of his behaviour.
The club is aware of the pain that the loss of the eagle will cause fans in upcoming home matches, but believes that they cannot all be linked to the club’s historical symbol. An eagle with a subject who, on his initiative, made the continuation of the relationship unacceptable.
Usually, when middle-aged men splurge on a new Hog, it involves going to a Harley Davidson dealership. This might have been the better move here for Juan Bernabe, but good luck having sex with a robot.