The showdown between Jimmy Butler and the Heat over a trade request could be about to get even funnier
I didn’t start with a lot of things. Dishes, my first novel. Sometimes life gets in the way of getting started the next The thing that will define who you are and who you can be. Obviously Jimmy Butler hasn’t started yet… Something… also.
In her recent article about emptying the notebook The Jimmy Butler sagaESPN’s Ramona Shelburne has weighed in on the controversy that has come to dominate NBA discourse, while offering some information that might actually be funny. Everyone is praying for the downfall of the Miami Heat.
To sum it up briefly, Butler made it very clear that he wanted the Heat to trade him, and Pat Riley made it very clear that he was very upset about it. Butler has already been suspended seven games for making things awkward, but is that all he’s got?
Let’s ask Shelburne, President and CEO, for great quotes from “sources close to _____.”
“Jimmy hasn’t really started,” a source close to Butler said.
Okay, okay then.
If all this awkwardness is just a prelude to the main event, sign me up. This epic has been absolute gold for those of us (Celtics fans) who have been trying to laugh at Heat Culture for the past three years but they just keep doing it Smoked by Butler Magic Right before the punch line.
But the concept that Butler, who is already approaching Anthony Davis levels in New Orleans majors in making this awkward, hasn’t even started yet? This is amazing.
As with any team-devastating crisis, the way we got here went from very confusing to very clear, very quickly. The Heat – who last year looked like a dark horse to challenge their Eastern Conference giants jewel Jaime Jaquez Jr. pick and Super intelligent The Terry Rozier trade – It’s now a mess because of the two most important things to any star: time and money.
Butler is 35 years old and currently on track to retire as one of the most accomplished players of the 2000s to never win a championship. He seems to have realized (correctly) that he has no chance of changing the Heat’s final roster, No matter what Riley says. He also seems well aware that, at 35, he probably only has one contract extension left in his NBA career, and the Heat simply won’t give him that.
Getting his first chance to “start” making things weird for the Heat in his first game back after the suspension on Friday, Butler (mostly) He didn’t comment and tried to quiet the noise… for now.
But if he decides to escalate? Butler proved in 2018 with Minnesota Timberwolves He has an iron-clad ability to deal with the uncomfortable situations the team faces, so let’s get creative here. I present to you: The three funniest things Jimmy Butler could do to meet this unknown threat and “start” putting pressure on the Heat.
1. Start a very public discussion about the Dwyane Wade statue
What if Butler, in order to pour lemonade into the Heat’s window-sealing wound, had made it his life’s mission to talk about the Dwyane Wade statue? He and his controversial agent could get together and craft hundreds of statements about how much the statue insults Heat culture, or derail every media interview by redirecting his answers to be about how unlike Dwyane Wade the statue is. Organizing a march against the statue in front of the Cassia Center? Start your podcast with Phoenix Suns Owner Matt Ishbia called it “status bust”?
Better yet, start responding to requests for comment on his trade demand by saying there’s no way Wade deserves a statue before LeBron James, who is clearly the best Heat player of all time. This would prompt people to leave, and perhaps upset Pat Riley enough to ship Jimmy to Phoenix for 33 cents on the dollar.
2. Become a baseball player and sign a minor league contract with the Pensacola Blue Wahoos
This will be (Other than that) A thinly veiled Michael Jordan reference that’s sure to get audience support, if for no other reason than it’s genuinely funny. Leaning into the “Son of Jordan” thing would be an elite way to pin it on Riley, and becoming a multi-sport athlete would turn this fiasco into an absolute carnival.
Does Butler even play baseball? accidental! This is a big picture thing, not an actual sports thing. And the Pensacola Blue Wahoos will rocket to the top of Double-A baseball’s most popular teams and sell a positively insane number of jerseys. I’ll even buy one.
3. Legally changed its name to “Heat Culture”
This is a largely unexplored part of the NBA’s trade requirements, as no one has ever tried to force everyone to call it by a different name, especially one as emotionally charged as “Heat Culture.” I’m not actually sure if this will help him in trading, but man Would it add some chaos to an already ridiculous situation?
This will be the final middle finger to Riley. Which forced him to say how “Heat Culture had done irreparable damage to the team culture” and how he was “saddened by Heat Culture abandoning his teammates and loyal fans.” Like… come on.
Shams Charania tweeted: “Heat Culture has reiterated its trade demand from Heat, and I am fed up with the delay.” Kendrick Perkins jumps into the NBA countdown and talks about how the Heat have failed in their Heat culture legacy. Bill Simmons places Heat Culture at number 74 in the NBA pyramid in Basketball Book 2: The Squeakquel.
It would be great, if not necessarily effective. But when you play the ball hard, sometimes you have to play the ball harder than people previously thought. And nothing could be more difficult—or make me happier—than if Jimmy Heat Cult turned that number up to 11.
