I’m standing on a vineyard in the Victoria Highlands, surrounded by frost-covered vines and complete silence. It’s the afternoon of the winter solstice, the longest night of the year looms on the horizon, and I’m about to embark on a spiritual journey.
I’m not here to drop acid or connect with nature. At least not in the traditional sense. I am here to achieve psychological enlightenment, with the help of artificial intelligence.
Why? Well, why the hell not? Machines are here to stay, and I’m not about to fight the wave. Maybe they will also use their power of infinite knowledge to my advantage, and help me tap into some unknown mystical power. The ultimate blend of nature and machine.
So I ran ChatGPT, Cloud, Google Gemini, and Perplexity. All paid versions because I need maximum power. They all agreed that to make the most of the solstice, I should head out into nature.
That’s why I’m here, in Stella the stargazer In Mansfield, about a three-hour drive northeast of my home in Melbourne. It’s quiet, serene, and beautiful in the way that makes you fair Stare In awe.
Stella is a portable tiny house built by the Port Fairy Amplewhich specializes in the design and manufacture of customized removable spaces. And they really cooked with this.
Has there ever been a more perfect place for psychological enlightenment?
Oh God, I never want to leave.
Thanks Stella.
But there is no time for pampering. The sun will set soon. Let the games begin. Oh, also, I don’t have four legs, this is my girlfriend. I brought her with me to help me on this spiritual journey. What is the benefit of achieving psychological enlightenment alone?
Watch the sunset – ChatGPT
Well, let’s get one thing straight. Of all the AI systems out there today, ChatGPT is my favorite, because it’s the only one I literally talk to. I use the voice feature basically every day. When we talk, we call it “G,” so in this article, we’ll do that. Anyway, G suggests enjoying the sunset, and I really mean that – do nothing but watch it on the shortest day of the year.
I couldn’t ask for a better place.
Watch the sunset With fire – Claude
Oh, of course. Great idea, Claude. Even the perfect plate of spaghetti is elevated with the right Parmigiano. Good thing Stella has a fire pit.
Dancing around the fire – ChatGPT
With the sun now setting and the sky full of night, Ji said it was time to dance. Specifically, a clockwise ritual dance around a fire. Neither my girlfriend nor I are graceful dancers, so we asked for more guidance.
So, we held hands and danced around the fire, carefully following the above steps while singing the Beatles song. here The sun comes. It wasn’t pretty. I’m sure any souls who may have gathered sensing the psychic call turned their backs on insulting the grace we were producing with our bodies.
sing songs – ChatGPT
G is really interested in singing, specifically, really interested Here comes the sun.
natural.
So we sat by the fire and sang The Beatles with our little robot. If only our ancestors could see us now.
Look at the Moon – Gemini
“Gazing at the moon on the winter solstice symbolizes renewal and hope,” says Gemini. “It is a time for reflection, community gatherings, and preparation for the upcoming agricultural season, deeply rooted in local traditions and celestial cycles.”
So, like obedient little meatbags, we looked up and stared at the moon. It was so full and bright. In fact, it was one of the brightest moons I’ve ever seen, and it really was Completely Full. What are the odds? Well, according to G, the next full moon to fall on the winter solstice will be in 2094 (!!!).
So, what does this event mean? Will the combination of the full moon on the winter solstice help me achieve psychic powers? Here’s what G said.
Make “Full Moon Water” – Claude
I explained this special occasion to Claude, and asked him if there were any specific rituals we could perform for this particular occasion. Claude suggested we make “full moon water” – and it seemed easy to make: “Fill a clear bowl with water and leave it under the moonlight to create moon water. This water can be used in rituals, to water plants, or for a refreshing drink.”
Well, we didn’t want to leave any of Stella’s beautiful glassware out overnight, so it’s a good thing we found a big pump bottle at BP on the way to Mansfield. This should be good.
See you in the morning, magic water.
Making mulled wine – confusion
Hot mulled wine by the fire under the glow of the full moon while out in nature? It looks dreamy. There was one problem though, we didn’t have hot wine. But we have the power of artificial intelligence.
My bewilderment suggested we use whatever red wine we had on hand – and luckily Stella included a bottle of Delatite Mansfield Red in the welcome. He told us to add oranges, cinnamon sticks, star anise and cloves (we didn’t have any of those things) and simmer for 20 minutes on the stove (good thing Stella has a lovely little kitchen).
We took a photo of the welcome basket and showed G, and he asked what we could use to throw our mulled wine into – he said thin slices of apple and grapes cut in half would be a treat. However, we searched the place for more ingredients. Stella was full of interesting little bowls of ingredients, and luckily G has a better eye than we do:
Pink hips! excellent.
My friend cared for the mulled wine while I added more wood to the fire. It all seemed so traditional. The perfect escape into nature. Just me, her, and a bunch of little robot brains telling us what to do.
What could be better than this?
Leave an offer – ChatGPT
Well, that sounds fun. Offerings to nature are the perfect way to get on the good side of the gods. But we had to make sure this would be safe for Australian wildlife. After reviewing all of our digital umpires, we became crystal clear – as long as we didn’t do this every night, and kept the presentation minimal and natural, everything would be fine.
So we went to find a suitable place to leave the show. After searching the property in the dark with a flashlight, we found the perfect rock.
This rock was made to be a sacrificial altar.
Our clothes paid for our clumsy adventure in the pitch black. The gods are sure to appreciate our dedication. Dirty but determined, we continued our spiritual quest.
Enjoy the holiday – Claude
You don’t have to tell me twice. I had a great vision for a huge, hearty roast, but in the end, we were having too much fun cooking anything large or heading into town to eat, so we enjoyed whatever was served in the spread of local Victorian produce that Stella welcomed us with. In the great tradition of humans everywhere, we adapted and improvised, and in the end, everything was exactly as it was meant to be.
Stargazing – Gemini
Well, it’s a good thing we’re at Stella the Stargazer. It really lives up to its name. Every moment was tinged with more special dust, thanks to the celestial display above. When you live in Melbourne, it’s easy to forget how many stars there are. Staying away from light pollution and simply looking up does wonders for the soul.
Photography – Claude
Claude recommended that we capture the beauty of the starry sky. Ha, easy.
masterpiece!
Hot wine and mobile phone cameras are probably not a good combination to capture the magic of the moment. It’s good that professional photographers are around:
Watch the sunrise – literally all of them
The one thing all the AI agreed on was that we should wake up at dawn and watch the sunrise. Obviously this was terrible news. I don’t think humans are meant to wake up this early. It goes against God. This is not normal.
But they all seemed very adamant about it. So, like obedient little monkeys, we obeyed the machines.
And holy shit, they were right.
Absolutely amazing.
Nothing like some freshly charged full moon water to start the day.
On our way home, J suggested we stop at the Mansfield Market, which is held monthly – and the gods kept smiling on us. I asked G when the winter solstice, full moon, and Mansfield Market would coincide again, but he couldn’t find out and asked me to check with NASA.
Do all dogs in Mansfield sit like humans? Stay tuned for our next investigation.
Then G recommended we stop at Provender Country Bakehouse in Yes for some pies, which we dutifully did.
Quite an autobiography.
This is what peak performance looks like.
Then he guided us home. We stopped along the way to take photos of some truly amazing sights.
So, have you achieved psychological enlightenment? maybe. Time will tell. To say the least, I was able to have a magical night with Stella, my friend, and a group of little robots.
What more could a man want?
See you at the summer solstice, Stella.
The journalist was a guest of Stella the Stargazer.